Fragility

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Amidst the chaos of the COVID-19 outbreak, I am left with many thoughts to ruminate. A flooding sense of impending doom overwhelms me, inevitably leading to stress. In times like these, I worry about getting enough sleep, eating nutritious foods, and being worry free. Paradoxically, in times like these, it becomes that much harder to take care of myself optimally. With this sense of losing control, it becomes hard to focus. A lot of times, my mind juggles multiple worries simultaneously, as if it wants to take control of the world. At other times, my emotions want to dominate my mind and leave me feeling sluggish and fatigued. All of these sensations make me unable to properly make decisions; something as simple as what to order on a take out menu or which flavor of juice to buy from the grocery store becomes a challenge. Living in this sort of frantic state is not alleviated much by the current public health crisis. Many of the folks I encounter out there seem to be just as frantic, if not worse than me. Thankfully, I have been able to control myself to the point of not taking out my frustration and stress out on innocent bystanders. Despite witnessing and being a victim of these actions, I refuse to participate and affect others around me. If my struggles are making me go under, I'd rather wallow away in self-pity rather than subject anyone else to my misery. They say misery loves company but I refuse to accept this widely accepted proverb. I'm determined to break away from the negativity that we tend to spread without awareness. A bit of conscientiousness goes a long way when dealing with tough times like these. From one click of a button to the next, all we hear about is the sense of urgency regarding the coronavirus. We are left with a sense of hopelessness, unable to break away from the flooding nature of the media. Fortunately, despite the infiltration, we can choose to break away from technology momentarily and gain acceptance towards the inevitable nature of the human condition regarding disease, life, and death. Life is fragile, but so is our state of mind in times of crisis. Relax, unwind, and finally enjoy life because as you can see, the delicate nature of our time is most evident as we struggle nationwide with disease.

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