A Blog Between the Lines

You might let your perpetrators fall in and let you win, taking away from your very essence. If you do so, you've let them achieve their very motives, to consume you. Abuse in its most raw form, really seeks to dominate and assert an insidious control over its victim. It does this by way of psychological tactics that reach deep within the psyche of its victim, leaving them feeling breathless. This vulnerability has most likely been created through early childhood experiences, leaving them susceptible to the grasp of opportunistic abusers. This cycle can be very hard to break, even the most dedicated will fall many times before they can get up once more. Many never go on to break the cycle, they simply perpetuate it and live a victimized life, continuing to spread the contagious dis-ease of their mind. Fortunately, for those willing to become introspective and evaluate the details regarding what may lead to these series of unfortunate events, it can become an outlet of possibiliti...

Sometimes we ask for too much, from too much food at a restaurant, to too much pay at a job. We seem to get restless when we aren't producing or consuming as much as we can, whether it be just enough or an illusion. At times, we get wrapped up in our own sense of accomplishments, forgetting about those around us. We think that if we can be the best, outshine those around us, we will finally be the successful perfect version of ourselves; the one we've been dreaming of. Despite all of these efforts, we cannot seem to pinpoint why we seem to fall short. Our expectations seem to grow ever more, increasing with time as we age. You seem to envy the concept of complacency, an elusive emotion you have yet to experience. But, there you are, continuing to overachieve as much as possible to overcompensate for your shortcomings. Regardless of what we achieve or not, one thing that is certain is our finite amount of time on this planet. Starting from the basic concept of reality will l...

Amidst the chaos of the COVID-19 outbreak, I am left with many thoughts to ruminate. A flooding sense of impending doom overwhelms me, inevitably leading to stress. In times like these, I worry about getting enough sleep, eating nutritious foods, and being worry free. Paradoxically, in times like these, it becomes that much harder to take care of myself optimally. With this sense of losing control, it becomes hard to focus. A lot of times, my mind juggles multiple worries simultaneously, as if it wants to take control of the world. At other times, my emotions want to dominate my mind and leave me feeling sluggish and fatigued. All of these sensations make me unable to properly make decisions; something as simple as what to order on a take out menu or which flavor of juice to buy from the grocery store becomes a challenge. Living in this sort of frantic state is not alleviated much by the current public health crisis. Many of the folks I encounter out there seem to be just as frantic, i...

What comes to mind when you have a chemistry with someone? I think of many things, but what means most to me is a simple mutual understanding; not having to explain myself much to reach that point. The ability for someone to understand me within a moments notice, a transcendental experience that no one can explain, is what truly makes compatibility beyond this dimension. It might seem uncomfortable at first, but in reality it is what truly unites two people. If this person can fidget and you seem to just get it, you have achieved this kind of other worldly kind of unity (to a rational extent of course). The more time you spend with each other, the feeling should intensify over time. In some relationships, this may even lead to agitation. It can be quite disconcerting to reach this point of connection and in fact you may not even be in a relationship or meant to be in one, but somehow you've achieved this intertwined level of energy. You might think, am I going crazy? In fact, no yo...

I want to let it out, but I don't know how. I don't know what needs to come out to begin with. I need to address the root of it all, the cause of my demise. When did it all become complex? How did simplicity become just another notion in my life? As a child, I never imagined it would be this way. I figured problems would just go away somehow, without any effort required of me. But in reality, it is not quite that simple. It requires far more personal involvement in order to get emotionally repaired from life's woes. Thankfully, many of the battles given to me to defeat have lead me to become the person I am today. I am more than grateful to have been able to experience the upheaval because without it, I would be another boring person just wilting away. I would not have been able to develop a thought process behind complicated situations and my tenacity would not be what it is today. Many of us cringe at the thought of hardship or some sort of difficulty. In reality, it ...

Another day has come to an end and I am left with a feeling of doubt. Did I properly utilize all of my capacity at my job today? Could I have possibly done more to really say I lived today as if it were my last? I tend to ruminate, a lot, especially at the end of the day. Could I possibly be doing something else more worthy of my time? I guess you can say it isn't worth having all these questions enter my mind at this time of the day, but it is engrained within me to constantly reflect. My doubts are always cast at slight angles, depending on the situation along with my emotional state. I guess you can say I am too inward focused always trying to figure myself out amidst a chaotic world around me. Who else wouldn't be in a perplexed state of mind considering the nature of the current events. The world continues to revolve in a state of crisis, from the constant blare of the news to the next mounting pandemic. It is easy to be overwhelmed and agitated from the constant influx of...