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Dead to Me

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That fleeting emotion I felt is dead to me. The hope I held of any expectation is far more dead to me. The ability to trust again is dead. Anything but trauma after trauma is just spiritual death all over again. The ability to hold down a job is causing me to want death even more. So is the idea of a friendship, or any sort of relationship. Any ambition I have previously held onto is just a dark shadow that has ceased to exist long ago. The dreams have reached their expiration date and have reached their time long ago, they were dead all along. Any life I tried to prescribe to them were just lifeless masses of hope, waiting to be formally recognized as dead once more. The ability to concentrate on one thing at a time is just another dream, killing me softly inside. The prospects of a fulfilling career have all been lost to the capitalist motives of this country; the remnants of debt are interfering with my ability to function. A sense of purpose is all I ask for, but there seems to be ...
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Biological Guidance

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When he or she approaches me, the intention is hit or miss. The micro-expressions, subtle shifty eye movements, and overall vibe give me an overall idea of how to approach the encounter. Rather than avoid it in the back of my mind, my approach is to accept it for what it is. Whether it be a positive force or not, it is best to embrace it regardless. There is always something to learn from it all, regardless of recognizing its potential or not. This mentality allows me to attract benevolence without the associated fear of harm. With the absence of fear, life can flow much more smoothly. Once you let fear, doubt, and uncertainty dominate your mind, your actions become skewed thereafter. You become a breeding ground for opportunists, they will come after you like a magnet. More than likely, it is a sort of law of spiritual attraction. The more out of line you are with your core, the more opportunities will arise for your life to be led astray. The more in tune you are, the more likely you...
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Blurred Meaning

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At times, the tone and inflection behind stated words bears so much more weight than the actual message itself. The emotional impact hits my soul leaving me pensive for hours on end. The constant rumination about the intended message along with lingering insecurities wreaks havoc on my brain. The more analysis you put forward, the more confusion results. The weaknesses that gently simmer within me are illuminated, a form of wild incineration. The people around me use these vulnerabilities as their ammunition: they light the torch with their raging fire and use it as their clandestine weapon. The feeling of invisibility that this method of defense gives them allows them to propel forward and steer them away from their own problems, the ones that cause them to lash out and consume those around them. The void that needs to be addressed, instead accumulates and gains more momentum in order to destroy them the more they avoid it. This unproductive repetitive cycle of improperly dealing with...
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A Thought of Water Will Fall

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The warmth from within can at times be met with an unwelcome frigid cold front on the surface. Many times, a state of oblivion would be equivalent to a state of bliss in order to remain safe. Whether it be a rough day, a heartache, or a significant loss, the odds are usually more persistent than we'd like. Any attempts to explain the process verbally turns into a distortion of facts. The emotion takes ahold and makes us fall short of living up to the experience. With the endless expectations, demands, and deadlines, the act of living on a daily basis becomes more of a rehearsed choir. The ability to stand on our own feet and think for ourselves no longer exists, we simply exist for our surroundings.  Our thoughts can easily consume us from within, especially if they are left to simmer over time. This unhealthy sequence of mental events can lead to impulsivity and much more. In an effort to release this tension, destructive behaviors can easily take a toll on our emotional wellbeing...
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Lessons of Enrichment

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Many experiences can serve to open our mind towards the reality of what we live. For those that enjoy living a blindfolded lifestyle, these defining moments can serve as a reminder of true representation. We can comfortably settle into a life of authenticity rather than serve as a passive victim of what life has to offer. This method of control and dominance over the outcome of our lives can allow us to grow and transform who we are. Rather than trying to flee when a problem arises, we are able to face it courageously and gain strength and clarity. In terms of trauma, many experiences can leave a deep mark on who we are as a person. These events can leave us prone to bouts of depression and anxiety if left unresolved. Certain events that happen to us are uncontrollable; we simply cannot choose how life deals its cards. Rather than harping on dismal outcomes, we can choose to see the silver lining. If you can truly examine the potential to evolve spiritually from an event, you wi...
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A Simply Not So Simple Mind

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At times, life becomes so complicated that you forget the simplicity behind the thought process. Our minds overtake our reasoning and get the best of us. At other times, we may overly rely on intuition and neglect logic and reasoning. Regardless of the method or thought process that we may choose, the idiosyncrasies of life can cause us to lose sight of the bigger picture and larger context of the world that continues to revolve despite our momentary problems that bring us to a stop. As a clairsentient and highly sensitive person, it becomes challenging to keep things simple and straight forward. Whether it be trying to focus on multiple tasks at once or trying to accomplish a simple menial task, the emotions surrounding me take ahold of my reasoning more than the significance of the task in front of me. This method of living my life based on how everything feels to me can be mentally draining. Much of the logic behind my daily actions becomes skewed and most of my decisions bec...
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Taking Ahold

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Control is very powerful. Some of us seek to establish control, and others submit to it. Whether it be a sense of powerlessness, or simple anxiety, a sense of control is vital to establishing our grip on life. Some of us resort to religious ideologies, and others resort to criminal activity and affiliations in order to grab a hold of an identity and sense of belongingness. These forms of congregating allows us to be controlled by a leader or an overarching theme. We may ask ourselves, why do we have a burning desire to be led and guided along our own individualized paths? The answer resides in human nature in itself, the need to assert dominance and conquer territory of its own. Throughout the primal periods of existence, our ancestors evolved on the basis of control. Many forms of government and religious figures emerged and sustained their existence by the mere ability to provide a sense of order to a population in disarray. As the saying goes, "history repeats itself...
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